If you are also concerned about fear of rejection and lack of self-confidence, read my short self-help manual, Beyond Fear of Rejection and Loneliness to Self-Confidence at
Levels of intimacy vary from no contact strangers to friends or lovers who are very similar in their most important-innermost parts of themselves, care greatly about each other; communicate in a completely free, open, and honest manner; are willing to make significant efforts or sacrifices for each other, and are in a long-term committed relationship.
Why is it that two people become friends or lovers and others don't?
Jerry was successful primarily because of his persistence and continual conscious effort to improve his skills and confidence. The focus of this self-help manual is to help you improve your conversational and intimacy skills.
I have counseled with and taught these skills to hundreds of people seeking ways of becoming more outgoing and assertive, more confident, and more able to develop close relationships with others-especially others in romantic situations.
This continuum starts with strangers at the low end, then moves to casual friends, people who are close in only one or two specific areas, people who are close in many areas for a short time, and ends with those closest in many areas over a long time span.
He used individual counseling, an assertion training group, and self-help books. More importantly, he was much happier with himself and his life. Most people I see don't start at such a low level and only want or need much less help.If you think you have a long way to go, then it is helpful to know that others have gone even further.Jerry came to counseling because he was tired of being so shy and wanted to be able to meet women and eventually marry and have a family.He knew that his current path was not leading him in the right direction, and he was very upset about it. I helped him with conversational skills, assertiveness skills, and with building self-esteem and confidence. Nevertheless, within three years he became president of a fraternity, had all the dates he wanted, had lots of friends, and had changed his major to one requiring a high level of interpersonal skills.* More on Introductions * How To Be An Interesting Conversationalist: The Concept of Free Information * Establish Conversational Balance, Equality, and Intimacy * How personal/intimate is the topic * Establish Trust: Trust and Responsible Behavior Begets Trust * Are You Compatible Giving and Receiving Basic Information * Variables Affecting the Success of Any Relationship * Develop (And Practice) a Brief Meeting People Strategy * Asking Questions Effectively * Conversational Styles * Characteristics of intimate conversations * Drawing Your Partners Feelings Out * Romantic Conversations * Controversial Topics and Intimacy * Continuing A Successful Conversation: Develop your Internal Observer * Revealing Potentially Embarrassing Information * What If You Want to Date Someone Who Has a Lot More Experience than You * What To Do When You Can’t Think of Anything To Talk About * How to Win Friends, Influence People, and be Loved By Women: Empathetic Listening Skills * Empathetic Listening Skills as Conversation Generators * Non-Verbal Communication: Using Body Language to Build Closeness * The Importance of Physical Attractiveness * Problems With Your Physical Appearance * Physical Illnesses, Disability, or Similar Problems * Issues Related To Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) * Mild to Moderate Psychological Problems * Problems That Almost Always Destroy Relationships * The pace of the relationship.
What if you want to go slowly * What if one partner has a performance anxiety problem with sex When Jerry first came in for counseling, he was so shy that he couldn't even look at me and could only give one-line answers to questions.