So why, Ellen, would you take your quest to the land of apartment scams and Ikea dressers?Surprisingly, she says, people are more honest there. Ellen has dabbled in online dating for almost two decades. And for a few years, I had profiles on Match and J-Date up at the same time.” Ellen's voice is warm and inviting. But as anyone who has spent more than five minutes in the dating scene knows, finding a true partner can be like searching for Waldo (as in “Where’s? And Waldo, Ellen says, was not on any of the dating sites she signed up for.“I've tried online sites and am tired of looking at profiles with guys wearing hats and sunglasses. The 61-year-old Manhattanite recently posted a personal ad to Craigslist in an attempt to get one step closer to a “warm male mensch.” You may be wondering, why Craigslist? After a cursory Google search, it's clear there are plenty of dating sites tailor-made for the over-50 crowd, not to mention the dozens created for the twenty-and-thirty-somethings. She’s, by her own definition, a DWJF — divorced, white, Jewish female — and she’s looking for romance.She told me a handful of tales as old as time about her dating horror stories.
"Like something was wrong with you if you had to take that path to get a date." But along with the advent of online dating, and the dozens and dozens of sites created to make finding companionship easy, she figured out the cold, hard, truth: any site can promise to make you a match, but paying .99 a month to find love doesn’t necessarily mean love will find you.If you're invested, the result of that betrayal can be heartbreaking.It's a risk you take when you decide to get romantically involved with someone, she understands, but if that's what you're going to end up with, why would you willingly pay a monthly fee to get it? It’s clear what this guy’s about and I delete it.” She calls the entire experience of Craigslist dating “low stakes,” informing me that the “best of Craigslist” section is prime material for acting teachers who need to gather unique monologues for their classes.She has actually been a fan of Craigslist for years. Her dating advice for others is simple: “If you listen, he’ll tell you who he really is.“I started online dating shortly after I got divorced in 1998,” Ellen, a psychiatrist, told me when I contacted her — through Craigslist, of course — to inquire about her ad. A stand-up comedian by night, she has a great sense of humor. “I learned to ask a lot of questions,” she told me when I asked what she had learned from her experiences.
“I tried it all — JDate, Match, e Harmony…” Her voice trails off, as if she’s thinking hard. And, like the rest of the millions of people registered on dating sites and apps across the internet, she finds dating exciting, if not simultaneously exhausting. “When I go on dates now I say, you know, ‘are you completely, verifiably divorced,’ you know, ‘are you completely single?