"You have to decide which you want more: a guy who's committed or this guy, even if he won't ever be," Trespicio says.
Spending Saturday morning in the soup kitchen or helping an elderly person carry his groceries may be all it takes to have him calling you girlfriend.
In a recent British study, people rated potential sexual partners to be more attractive for a long-term relationship if they had altruistic qualities.
"Explain what kind of relationship you want and why, defining what commitment means for you without giving an ultimatum." If he isn't open to a discussion, let him mull it over for a couple weeks.
But if he still doesn't respond when you bring it up again, it may be time to rethink the relationship.
Talk about blurred lines."Every person and relationship is different, and there's no magic phrase or action that can 'get' someone to commit," says Terri Trespicio, a lifestyle and relationship expert based in New York City. One thing to look out for: If he's acting extremely jealous or policing your every move, you need to really reevaluate things.
However you can use these tips to subtly up the chances that he'll want to turn casual dating into something more. And never tell yourself, "He's a nice guy and has done nothing wrong, so I guess I should be with him." "That's convincing yourself of something that's probably not right," Trespicio says.
If it's been about six months and he hasn't dropped one hint about where he sees this going, casually speak up, says Jennifer Kelman, a licensed social worker and relationship expert at
It's great—except that you have no idea where things stand.He has yet to introduce you as his girlfriend or bring up being exclusive, and you're craving that "couple" title and the security that comes with it.You think you desire something serious with this particular guy—but before you do anything else, be sure. Bottom line: Be in a relationship where you feel good when you're without him, but you feel even better with him. 1 piece of advice is to never to bring up the "What are we? "It's like going to a party, turning off the music, turning on the lights, and asking, 'Are we all having a good time here? "A good relationship is built on momentum, and putting a stop to the fun to 'check in' is a surefire way to kill the romance."Let things progress naturally and look at the evidence: Does he try to see you whenever he's free?Step back and ask yourself the following questions, Trespicio suggests: Do I have fun with him? Does he seem genuinely interested in what you have to say? These are likely signs he's in it for real, so enjoy being with him and relax about making things "official." "Men who are wary of commitment want to feel like You don't have to stay in the dark forever, though.Above all, keep the tone light and maintain open lines of communication.
If you feel confident at this point that you want things to be serious, go ahead and tell him, Trespicio says.