That is a community, though, and we should embrace it.‘I just thought I hated gay people, but I think that I really just don’t like people in general.’The gay man’s equivalent of a post-breakup ‘I hate men’ is often ‘I hate gay guys’.
I’ve said it, my friends have said it, most of us have thought it.
Blake Pruitt examines why many gay men are no longer identifying with gay culture in New York. I’d be nothing without Beyoncé, but we also need more strong gay male role models – and not necessarily famous ones.
Here is his take on their top seven complaints.‘Lady Gaga is a straight woman who has co-opted gay culture because it works for her.’A lot of gay men look to strong women as role models. A lot of young gay men are dismissive of older gays, and vice versa, but we all have a lot to learn from one another.
We blame relationship troubles on the assumption that: ‘All gay men are sluts and no one wants to be in a relationship with me.’Is this really true, though? It’s simpler to take out one’s frustrations on everyone else than to accept that maybe the right guy just hasn’t come along yet.
Not all gay men only want to sleep around (and those who do are certainly allowed/ encouraged to).
So many of us openly prefer and seek out more ‘masculine’ guys.
It can often feel like there’s no community at all – just the same strange, photogenic faces at the same clubs every weekend.Not all gay men are scared of long term commitment.Younger gays can learn a lot about self-acceptance and, consequently, acceptance of others from men who’ve been doing so since before we were born.‘If you were to just say gay guys, an image pops into my head that I’m not so fond of.’When we talk about ‘annoying gay men’ or hating a stereotype, we’re really talking about the way a gay man is expressing his gender, not his sexuality.Most homophobes, gay or not, don’t care as much about a man having sex with another man as the typically feminine characteristics he displays.Yes, there are obviously still too many people who take issue with homosexuality at its core, but the more pervasive homophobia (which has seeped into the gay community) is one associated with a man acting in any way that is traditionally/ stereotypically not masculine.