"In order to have confidence, you have to accept yourself for the beautiful person you are," says Marie Denee, the plus-size fashion and style blogger who founded The Curvy Fashionista blog, which provides fashion, lifestyle, and beauty tips and tricks specifically for plus size women. "Every time (and I mean time) you catch your reflection in the mirror or a window or whatever, affirm to yourself: I am beautiful," she suggests. Try mixing things up by adding in other phrases, such as "I am sexy/gorgeous/fabulous," if you like."If you keep this practice going, not only will you believe it, but you'll exude it," says Poretsky, who teaches the "Body Love Makeover Attraction Program" course for overweight women who would like to date more and feel more attractive.
Connect with that heritage — and the heritage of big, beautiful women in recent history — to connect with the true beauty within and without.And yet, when overweight people enter the dating scene, they're often overwhelmed by feeling unlovable and unattractive to others.It's a feeling that naturally undermines a person's confidence — one of the qualities that experts agree is essential to attraction."What do you assume [anything negative] about your attractiveness? Do you assume that certain people, based on their looks or background, won't be interested in you?Plus-sized daters should "have unshakeable confidence," advises Rachel Russo, a New York City-based dating, relationship and image coach ( "The overweight single must not be apologetic for his/her weight but should rather embrace it, and realize [that a person's] weight does not have to impact [someone's] self-worth — and the ability to love and be loved." But how does someone gain that confidence in a culture that tells us "thin is in" everywhere you look? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but more importantly, you have to accept yourself for who you are — curves, love handles and all!