Both single people in Group A and Group B will hit the online and offline dating circuits, but one group will do it to be social and meet new people and the other folks—Group B—will play a numbers game and go on as many dates as they can to increase their chances of finding Mr. D., author of "The 30-Day Love Detox" and resident expert at Dating
She says that many people who are serial daters are actually more comfortable with ending relationships for a number of reasons, instead of putting in the slow work and time it takes to get to know somebody.“On a personal side we’re becoming more and more emotionally avoidant,” says Dr.
“And they spend their dating life looking for a specific person.
Walsh.“As a culture we move around a lot, our parents divorced, our parents chased new jobs, we moved around a lot growing up and it doesn’t actually teach you how to have long-term stable relationships, it teaches you how to say goodbye.”Another reason people jump from person to person, Walsh says, is because they simply don’t know how to be alone.
In fact some people never even gave single life a fair try.“A lot of people have early life traumatic experiences where they didn’t have a secure attachment, so sometimes it’s a detachment disorder where people have trouble connecting,” she says.
And each day that doesn’t happen is considered a loss, which keeps them in a state of perpetual want and anticipation. They’re the ones who turn dates into interviews to size up potential mates and they think every kind and attractive person they meet could be The One.Additionally, the person in Group B fears being alone for the rest of their lives more than they fear the Boogieman himself, and in their head remains an image of eating alone, sleeping alone and never getting the chance to experience love, commitment and all the other things that make a relationship exciting and healthy. To find out why someone really becomes a serial dater we spoke to relationship expert Wendy Walsh, Ph.Another characteristic of the serial dater is their willingness to believe that a few good dates equal a possible soul mate.“A lot of people believe that a “hookup” can be a stepping stone to a relationship—about 35% of women in one study believe that—so they’re moving too quickly,” she says.And although both genders tend to be serial daters, Walsh explains that the reasons are different.When it comes to those who are single, there seems to be two groups. Group A tends to use their time productively, using their single status to do things that might be harder to accomplish if they were married or in a relationship, like going on a lone self-discovery trip or just taking the time to learn what they really want in a mate.
And many times people in Group A won’t even think about relationships or finding the ideal mate and through their solitude they find a way to be content without having a steady mate and will maintain that level of satisfaction whether someone great arrives or not. This group uses a lot of mental space dreaming about that one day when their prince or princess will appear over the horizon on that same white horse that’s in every fairy tale they ever loved as a kid.