I once went on a date to a free comedy show with a guy I met online.
There were plenty of reasons the date was disastrous—think dead silence for up to ten minutes at a time—but the real rock bottom moment for me was when I said I was going up to the bar to get a drink and asked if he wanted anything (I wasn’t that thirsty but needed to break the tension).
Aside from whether men should hold the door for women, few seemingly frivolous issues have fanned the flames of anti-feminism as much as who should pay for dates between men and women.
It’s a subject that seems to never die — see yesterday’s Guardian feature on “Paying while dating” — because there are always a subset of men who insist that it’s absolutely unfair that as the world has gotten closer to gender equality, men are still expected to pick up the check.
In that case, was the one offering to pay, but instead of taking me up on it, he made himself seem like an extreme cheapskate.“It speaks to a man’s values and shows that he is a gentleman.Most first dates are just a few cocktails, so this shouldn’t be a burden for men.(Guys: don’t do this.)Yet the who-should-pay decision is a conundrum, as dating and relationship expert Wendy Newman, author of “121 First Dates: How to Succeed at Online Dating, Fall in Love, and Live Happily After (Really!A 2014 Nerd Wallet study found that 77 percent of over 1,000 U. respondents expected men to pick up the check on a first date.
Most likely, they will continue to be—perhaps not forever, but certainly for the here and Salon.