People who learned love from being loved say things like “HOW can parents treat their children like that?” and they don’t understand why or how these parents could communicate such rejection towards their own children.The people that have a need to stick up for the dysfunctional family system are the ones that have judged me the hardest.And they don’t stand up for neglect, disrespectful actions, discounting actions, corporal punishment, emotional abuse, verbal abuse or any other type of communication from parents that is less than love.People who know what love really is and experienced that love from their parents, don’t think my father’s neglect and disinterest in me was loving OR normal. The reaction that I get from people who actually WERE loved by their parents is understanding and empathy rather than the judgment and criticism that we so often hear.
For a long time I agreed but I have come to realize that this conclusion isn’t as accurate as I used to think it was.I have discovered that people who have or have had loving parents actually do understand what I am talking about; it is the people still stuck in defending their own abusive /discounting parents that fight the hardest against what I am saying.It’s actually makes sense that it is that way too; People who KNOW what love really is don’t think my mother and her actions regarding me were very loving; they don’t think that the way she treated me had any foundation in her love for me.People who had parents who modeled real love, recognize the truth about what love is.I have found so much freedom in realizing that I don’t have to explain or justify my decision to draw boundaries with my parents or with anyone else, to anyone. There is a reason that this offends certain people but the reason may not be what you think it is.
There is a reason that some people don’t accept my decision to disengage from my parents and family.