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Third, given that disconnecting them from this virtual world is unrealistic, how can you ensure that their online relationships are positive and life-affirming?To be sure, many young people these days have well-developed virtual relationships that they consider real.Online relationships are based on limited information and, as a result, are incomplete; your children can know people online, but only so far.When connecting with others through technology, your children get bits and pieces of people—words on a screen, two-dimensional images, or a digitized voice—almost like having some, but not all, of the pieces of a puzzle.

These “cyber” relationships often arise because parents, out of fear for their children’s safety, no longer allow them to be “free range” to congregate in local parks, at malls, and on street corners.Virtual relationships have all the appearances of real relationships, for example, connectedness, communication, and sharing.Yet, these relationships are missing essential elements that distinguish them from flesh-and-blood relationships, namely, three dimensionality, facial expressions, voice inflection, clear emotional messages, gestures, body language, physical contact, and pheromones.The only place that they have permission to “meet up” is in virtual gathering such as Facebook, Twitter, and in the “textosphere.” Plus, the reality is that your children are growing up as natives in this digital world, so it is only natural that they spend some of their time in cyberspace.There are several questions that you must ask as your children immerse themselves in this connected world.

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This type of “impression management” is much easier to do online because recipients of the information aren’t in a position to reality test what they see, read, and hear.

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