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But every so often, a couple will come along that causes me grave concern.

The couples that worry me tend to have the kinds of issues that precipitate an 85% divorce rate, according to renowned marriage researcher Dr. At the very least, they are predicted to have a highly dissatisfying marriage.

Simply stated, these issues are: Defensiveness, Criticism, Stonewalling, and Contempt.To be clear, all people fall short in these areas to some degree. What causes me concern are those who would score an F if relational grades could be handed out.As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I get asked to do a fair amount of pre-marital counseling.On the whole, I really like to do pre-marital counseling.I may provide a closer look at these issues in a future article, but for now, I’d like to focus on the factors that would make a couple go through with the wedding anyway. They’ve been dating for a long time and so they feel marriage is the next logical step. One or both feel like this is their last chance to get married.

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What would make a conflicted couple ignore the 85% warning? They don’t want to hurt the other person by reconsidering marriage. They believe things will resolve themselves in marriage.

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