A lot of what makes us react one way or another to somebody is unconscious.
She may use proximity and body language to try to catch his attention and signal that she wants to talk to him, she makes an observation about something or finds an excuse to talk with him about, say, a class they have in common, as a way of breaking the ice. these are many of the ways men approach Most forms of indirect openers and indirect “game” from PUA circles are variations of techniques that women have used to signal interest without being too overt.
But the fact of the matter is, more men make the approach than women do. Guys often get too caught up in the idea of “woman as gatekeeper”, where women “control” the market on sex because they want it less than men do and therefore can afford to be pickier.
The traditional gender roles of man-as-aggressor are continually reinforced by our culture and society; witness the slut-shaming that Miley Cyrus gets for being an active – rather than passive – sexual performer.
Even in this day and age, the sexually-aggressive woman is a figure of ridicule (especially if she’s played by Rebel Wilson rather than Kim Cattrall) .
However, once you understand the social dynamics of am – then you’re intimately familiar with the heart palpitations, the sweaty palms, the dry mouth and the infinite variations of “What’s Going To Go Wrong” that flash through your head when you’re trying to psych yourself up to make the approach. Because they perceive women as the ones who ultimately control access to sex, they tend to miss out on a very fundamental issue: .
One of the insidious issues of the idea that women are somehow in charge of dating and have it so much easier than men do is that it invalidates and erases every woman who’s ever been rejected by somebody she’s attracted to.
maybe even stopping to give him lessons in how to get her to like him so he can do better next time. Other times they get brushed off by the men because they’re not the women those men that someone is trying to make the first move.
More often than not the way women approach men they’re interested in doesn’t match up with how they picture the approach going.