No freaks." "Morbidly overweight, seriously competitive computer gamer with creative genius online persona...
seeking svelte, kinky sex vixen for impossible fantasy role play.
Belligerent old shit (M, 53)" "When not in my London city office overseeing the day-to-day business of my successful accountancy firm, I can be found leaning inside taxi cabs, spitting wild obscenities and challenging the drivers to fisticuffs." Now you’ve seen the funniest dating personal ads on the web, see if you can do better with your own phone dating chat welcome message.
Must wear size five shoes." "When I was thirty my dates had to be young, tall, handsome, rich, intelligent.
The fastest path to scoring a date is to stand out from the crowd.
It seems like these nine funny singles took things a little bit too far.
Now I'm 64, they only have to know how to read and use the telephone! They’re amazing; I’ll burn you a CD." "Normally on the first few dates I borrow mannerisms from the more interesting people I know and very often steal phrases and anecdotes from them along with concepts and ideas from obscure yet wittily-written books.
" "Possibly the last person you want to be stood next to at a house-party you’ve been dragged along to by a friend who wants to get off with the flatmate of the guy whose birthday it is. It makes me appear more attractive and personable than I actually am.
And Google ads recently volunteered to help me “meet yoga singles.” (Google, do I like I do yoga?