He hands the bottle to the English man, who toasts, "May the English and the Irish live together forever, in peace, and harmony.'' The English man then tips the bottle and lashes half of it down. "I've blown up three hundred miles of English railroad! Do you mind if Oi go into the next room and see the rest of him?Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle to the Irish man, who replies: ''No thanks, I'll just wait till the Garda get here! "O'Malley, a plumber by profession, was called by a lady with an emergency in her bathroom.Many thanks to all of you have sent us these jokes and all the others we can't print.An English man and an Irish man are driving head on at night, on a twisty, dark road.Both are driving too fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road.To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed.About four-thirty, the telephone rang, and after she hung up, the lady told O'Malley: "That was my husband. "Winging his way to America from Ireland, Father O'Leary asked a stewardess, "How high is this plane, Miss? "Tim and Mick had stepped back into the brush to answer the call of nature.He'll be home in about half an hour, but he'll be leaving on a business trip to Chicago this evening at seven. " The stewardess replied, "About thirty-two thousand feet, Father." The Father's jaw dropped in amazement. As they were blessing the soil with the golden elixer, Tim said, "Sure, an' I wish I was hung like you are, Mick. See if you don't start to feel better." Relief plainly showing on his broad features, Mick said "It's a relafe, it is, what you're tellin me.
The lady was nice-looking, and lonely to boot, so before long Sean was helping her to heat up the bedroom.Here is wide selection of Irish jokes, from the dry to the dumb.One of the great Irish traits is their ability to make fun of themselves and they have perfected the trait.In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on.At this point, the Irish man goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of Jameson whiskey. "Murphy was doing some brickwork on the fireplace in Mr. He was much impressed by the moosehead over the fireplace. Cabot, bigger even than the great Irish Deer, Oi'm thinkin'." "Yes," said Mr. I tracked him for over two days and when I finally shot him it took six men to load him in the jeep." Shaking his reddish curls in admiration, Murphy said, "Truly, 'tis a great hunter you are, Sir, and a great animal that is.
Why don't you come back at about seven-thirty, and we'll continue where we left off? Yours is big enough that ye need four fingers to hold it."O'Rourke, the barber, was hearing complaints from his present trimmee about the price of barbers' services. You probably held your own in your youth, but when you get to your mid-forties, your body just isn't up to that any more. I was thinkin' perhaps me problem was me masturbatin'."As the years went by, Big Mick Lonegan just couldn't perform the way he used to.