Very Early Warning Sign #1: A Blamer Avoid anyone who blames his negative feelings and bad luck on someone else.Special care is necessary here, as blamers can be really seductive in dating.Emotional abuse, verbal abuse, and domestic violence are on the rise, especially among young people.
Their blame of others can make you look great by comparison: "You're so smart, sensitive, caring, and loving, not like that bitch I used to go out with." "Why couldn't I have met you before that self-centered, greedy, woman I used to date?" "You're so calm and together, and she was so crazy and paranoid." Hearing this kind of thing might make you think that all he really needs is the understanding and love of a good woman to change his luck.By the time many people notice the obvious red flags, they're already attached to an abuser, which makes it much harder for them to leave the relationship.More useful than a list of obvious red flags are guidelines based onof a potentially abusive relationship, signs that are visible before an attachment bond is formed.There are obvious red flags to avoid in a prospective lover, such as angry, controlling, possessive, jealous, or violent behavior.
Unfortunately, most abusers are able to mask these tendencies in dating.