(Some men go through life never knowing the exquisite pleasure of a woman’s appreciative gaze of admiration.) There was no unspoken, feminine crease of the eyes on her porcine face. It’s illuminating to compare our reactions to different mismatched couples.Just stone cold indifference, spiced with a hint of contempt. Think about what you say to yourself when you see the following pairings (remember that you have nothing to go on except what they look like): Handsome man with beautiful woman All is right in the world.Love between them is less about passion than it is about task delegation and avoidance of suicidal loneliness.Ugly man with beautiful woman Wow, he is shooting out of his league! ”, and from that you infer the ugly man has compensating alpha attributes to snag such a hottie — maybe he’s wealthy, or slick, or funny, or a dominating asshole, or some combination of each.You infer the man has alpha characteristics to complement his good looks, and he has cashed that in for a hot babe.You would be surprised, were you to talk to him, if he wasn’t charming and a bit arrogant. Ugly man with ugly woman All is right, if depressing, in the world.Handsome Husbandry: [tentatively raising his index and middle finger, and haltingly talking] I have a question… Nervously shifting from one foot to the other, leaning into his wife, gazing downward when the speaker responded to him, his body language was so beta it was painful to watch.
I was participating in a mobile conference which included question and answer periods, and I noticed an odd couple standing to my side. As he asked his question, he kept looking over at his wife — in fact, staring at his wife more than the speaker, although he was ostensibly addressing the speaker.
He was youngish and good-looking — most women would agree on his physical attractiveness — and his wife was a snout-nosed, inbred-looking, stringy-haired, big fat pig dressed in sweatshirt and ill-fitting jeans. I assumed they were married because I saw their rings and she had her hand on a stroller with an infant tucked away in it. But then the reason became crystal clear after only a few moments watching and listening to them interact. Big Fat Pig: [nudging her hubby with her elbow] Honey, remember… Handsome Husbandry: [his question-asking hand lingering in mid-air, other hand stuffed in pocket] What did [X] bring to the event that caused [Y] to happen? One would be forgiven for having the impression that he was seeking constant real-time assurance from his wife that his question was acceptable for public discourse.
You infer the ugly man has beta or even omega characteristics, and that an ugly woman was the best he could do.
You assume the ugly woman resents him for having to settle, but knows she has no other options.
The wife, meanwhile, assumed the posture and countenance of the alpha male.
(Never trust a power vacuum to be left unfilled by man or woman.) She looked straight ahead when her husband was simultaneously asking his question of the group leader and craning his neck to her for approval, and she never once softened her expression into a sympathetic, let alone loving, smile at him.