My husband and I met in the sweltering summer of 1992 and started rocking and rolling immediately.
But from the moment we got married a year later, we were 1) thinking about getting pregnant, 2) in a state of pregnancy, 3) recovering from pregnancy or 4) enjoying (and coping with) the results of pregnancy: babies, toddlers and, now, two teenagers.
Like most couples over 50, we are free to have sex pretty much whenever we want. I tried to find some statistics about how many times per week married Americans over 50 made love (with each other), but there were so many different studies saying so many different things, it was hard to suss out the truth.
One stated that married couples over 50 had sex once or twice a week, while another claimed it was closer to once or twice a month.
As couples age, they engage in sex less frequently, with half of couples age 65-75 still engaging in sex, but less than one fourth of couples over 75 still sexually active.
Across all ages, couples who reported higher levels of marital satisfaction also reported higher frequencies of sex.
I raised this topic with some girlfriends one night over a bottle of wine, hoping to get insights into their concerns, and (yes, I admit it) how often they had sex (with their partners).
We all had the same question: I love my husband and he loves me, so why aren’t we having as much hot sex as we used to?
During those early years, sex was focused more on a result (children), but that’s no longer the case.We want to have sex, but sometimes we just aren’t into it. We all hated thinking that things were slowing down, and that they might slow down even more. Finally, someone suggested I meet with Esther Perel, author of the best-selling , which explores many of the questions my friends and I were confronting – specifically, why couples who have been together for a very long time often can’t sustain a rich, enjoyable sexual life … Esther was particularly eager to find out because in her view, sex after 50 may be the best sex we’ll ever have.Confused and in need of more information, I met with Dr.Margaret Nachtigall, a reproductive endocrinologist in New York City, who shared some statistics from a study done by the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior: A study of married couples found age and marital satisfaction to be the two variables most associated with amount of sex.This study left me feeling that the older we got, the less we got it.