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In other words, Swedish babies wouldn't exist without Finnish booze cruises and Systembolaget.In recent months, The Local has reported that Swedes are much less inclined than their European counterparts to spend vast sums of cash in their efforts to find a mate. That's because they spend it all on alcohol trying to get themselves drunk enough to talk to a member of the opposite sex. Curiosa prepares to wrap up her almost seven-year sojourn in Sweden, she shares her revised reflections on Swedish mating and dating with The Local.This guide may not help you find your Swedish Valentine, but it might just shed some light on the tantalizing mystery known as the strong, silent Nordic type.P) At the end of dinner, closely examine the bill to make sure each person pays for his or her appropriate share, including the extra five kronor for dressing on the side. V) Move to the suburbs, buy a Volvo and start collecting “Vuxenpoäng” (see Stockholm Syndrome for more on the ‘adult points’ systems). X) Name it Johan, Erik, Fredrik, or Henrik if it’s a boy or Sara, Anna, Lisa, or Emma if it’s a girl.Now, where were we..yes: H) At the end of this date pretending not to be a date, give each other an awkward hug, or possibly a handshake, ended with the statement, "Vi hörs! " ("I'll talk to you soon." or "Hope we see each other soon!") I) Spend the entire next week pondering over who should make the next move. M) Repeat Step C, all the while pretending it never happened the first time.

A WORD OF WARNING: It is not assumed here that the guy will take the lead. If the Swedish guy is brave enough open his mouth and say something at all during this date, he may feel that it is now the girl's turn to put herself out on a limb. N) Sometime after several more renditions of Steps B and C, go out to dinner.J) Spend many more hours analyzing your feeble attempts at text message"flirting," agonizing over whether you should or should not use the word "mysig" (cozy) or "trevlig" (nice), fearing the former may be too much, and the latter may not be enough. O) Since it's a little harder to pretend you are not on a real date in the formal atmosphere of a restaurant, drink massive amounts of the house wine.With one of the highest birth rates in Europe, the Swedes seem to be pretty prolific when it comes to making babies, but even after six plus years of living in Stockholm, I'm still not sure how Swedish relationships actually happen.The only obvious explanation seems to be massive quantities of alcohol.In a nutshell, it goes something like this: A) Meet at a mutual friend's party. It is also worth mentioning that one can also have a fika with a friend, colleague, family member, or neighbor. During this "fika" Swedish non-date, things are a little stilted and awkward as both parties pretend that nothing happened last Saturday night, and politely and awkwardly ask questions about the other person, usually beginning with "Where do you live?

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," descending into a discussion about the difficulty and frustration of the Stockholm housing market, and complaining that you have had to move seven times in the course of six months.

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